What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
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