We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
