I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
