I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Actions speak louder than pants.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
