you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
