Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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