dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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