Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
