Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
