So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i drank out of a bidet.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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