I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
