I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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