I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
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i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize