I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
