Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
