Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize