Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
