I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
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I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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