I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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