TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
