I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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