There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Holy sore nipples Batman
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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