There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Damn victory sex feels great
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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