I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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