You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
