Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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