it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
