she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
