he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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