How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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