We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I will be naked everywhere
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
