There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
