Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize