I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
