Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
