I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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