super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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