i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize