Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
