Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
