she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
