Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
