I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
