Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
