One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
