This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
