Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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