called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
