Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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