as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
