If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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