Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
