Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
