everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize