I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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