mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
