The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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