look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
