I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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