peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
COCAINE IS GR8
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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