Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
