We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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